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Wednesday, June 08, 2005

Just F*&$^#@ Drive!

Those of you who know me know that I'm on the road a lot during my workday. That equals traffic. LOTS of it. I see such a myriad of idiots every day that I just don't know where to begin. Here's my bitch:

1. Pay attention, or least pretend.

2. Get off the phone if you can't do two things at once. I am behind you trying to get somewhere!

3. If the police have someone pulled over, why the hell are you slowing down? You've seen way too much Smokey and the Bandit if you think that cop is going to notice you, jump in his car and come after you. At least keep it to the speed limit, there's no need to act like you're in a school zone.

4. Speaking of school zones, pay attention to them! That might be your kid trying to get home.

5. Haven't you seen enough car accidents in a lifetime?? Why does everyone have to slow down and get a look? How would you feel if that were you bleeding on the side of the road, appearing in today's rubberneck show?

6. I may drive a small SUV now, but I'll still try to run you over. Don't cross the road in the middle of the street, 25 feet from the damn crosswalk. Lazy fool!

7. I am totally aware I should be obeying the speed limit, but I'm not. I'm in the fast lane, and you're in my way! What happened to road courtesy? If there's someone behind me who wants to go faster, I get the hell out of the way!!

Phew, I feel better now. Anyone got anything to add?


Davydgrey said...

Amen Loraloo. Don't forget to add construction zones!

LoraLoo said...

How could I forget our State flag - the road construction sign??? You're absolutely right, we're in a perpetual state of "road improvements"...

An80sNut said...

I've actually been tempted to create a visual barricade for accident areas. I figure that a big curtain going around the area until the tow truck gets there could only help by giving people no reason to look.